4 Weeks Out

4 Weeks Out

It's been a really tough week both physically and mentally.  I was going to wait until I was having an 'up' day to post, but I thought, why not post on a 'down' day.  In the future this will help me recognize my growth.

Two weeks ago I drove to New Jersey to meet with IFBB Pro Danielle Carr for posing practice.  I was totally overwhelmed while practicing with her, but she walked me though changing my routine a little bit and videoed me so I could watch it and work on it.  I made a promise to myself to practice 10 minutes a day until show day.  The day after I came home the posing really started to click for me.  I really need to stop over thinking it and just have fun with it.  Let's face it - it's a brief 10 seconds to show you have worked your ass off!  I have certainly become more relaxed and gotten better, but still have a long way to go.

Last weekend Brian and I drove to Baltimore on Saturday morning to go to the Baltimore Gladiator show.  The show was amazing.  I loved every minute of it.   We walked around the vendor area and looked at all the cool fitness stuff.  He sampled some delicious things (while I wanted to I refrained...prep mode is in full swing).  First they had prejudging.  The show was so big.  There were 30 girls in the novice division.  While I know they are up there to be 'judged' it was hard for me to hear the audience 'picking them all apart'.  I know each and every girl on that stage worked her ass off to be there.  After prejudging we went to our hotel and hung out for a while and then went for our cheat meal.  We went to this very cool brick oven pizza shop.  After the show we headed back for finals.  I was very surprised at some of the decisions that were made.  In the end each judge is different and has a different preference, but every girl on that stage was a winner in my eyes!

Onto this week - I'm not sure what happened this week but my emotions have been ALL over the place. One day high and the next low.  Some of the emotions stemmed from cutting coffee from my daily habits, having my food and cardio plans change, and work being very stressful this week.  I leaned on my buddy Nina, my husband and my coach a lot.  A whole lot!  I am so thankful to have my husband for EVERYTHING, my buddy Nina as a fellow competitor that understands, and my coach for the feedback and tweaks to my plan.  They are all contributing to my success.

I have also reflected a lot this week.  One day I can't wait to step on stage and the next I'm wondering what the hell I am thinking.  One day I am typing an email to my coach telling her how much I love prep and that I think I may want to be in this for the long haul and the next I want to quit now.  Through all of this I realized a few things about myself.  I am, and always have been a private person.  While I have worked my ass off my entire life for everything I have I have always been a 'beneath the detector' type of person.  I have always kept my head down, and worked my ass off.  I believe if you really are great people will just know.  You shouldn't have to put it in peoples faces.  I have always valued humility as a personality trait and have been annoyed by people who engage in self-promotion.  I have also gained a lot of confidence from this experience though.  This entire process has seemingly drawn that part of my personality out of me.  I have decided I don't think it is about being humble or confident.  I think it is more about fear of criticism.  If I stay beneath the detector I won't be noticed.  On the other hand if I exude confidence I make myself a target.  Let's face it no one likes to kick someone that is down, but many can't wait to take shots at someone who is successful.  I have a pretty thin skin and criticism hurts me pretty easily...even if it's tactful.  So, so far I have lived pretty quietly so that I go unnoticed to avoid being hurt, but I am now realizing I have deprived myself of some of life's greatest experiences.  through this reflection I have decided to stop allowing criticism to keep me from things that I love.  In my own eyes the day I make it to the stage is the day I am a champion!

6 Weeks Out

6 Weeks Out

The past few weeks have seriously flown by.  It seems each week I have my strong days and my weak days, but I know each day I am fulfilling with everything I have.

My suit from Suit you Swimwear has arrived and while I am not showing it until show day I must say it is absolutely beautiful.  When I opened it up I was in tears.  It's stunning.  I was so afraid to put it on in fear of being disappointed, but I am very pleased with the fit!

In the past few weeks I have dropped some weight and body-fat.  I am now coming in at 102 pounds and around 13% body-fat.  My clothes are falling off of me and I hate how low my weight is, but I am really not focused on that as I am on the mirror. Originally, my goal body fat was 12%, but I have decided to let go of that goal and again, just focus on the mirror.  I'm very happy with the progression of my upper body.  My core, shoulders, arms and my back especially.  I have never been able to see any kid of muscle curvature in my arms and I am beyond pleased with them.  My lower body is coming around slowly, but surely.  I am hoping in the next 6 weeks I can really focus on tightening up my quads and hams.


Time management has been very challenging for me the past few weeks.  Training for 3 hours per day isn't the easiest task while working full time, being a mom, having kids in sports, being a wife, and a business owner, but I make it work.  I can only make it work with the help and support of my amazing husband.  The man is my solid rock!  His support along with the support I am receiving from everyone else is truly inspirational.  I have more and more people complimenting my physique, more and more people asking me what I am doing, more and more people approaching me at the gym commenting on how fit I look.  Aside from all that I have an awesome coach that is proud of me and believes in me.

So far this experience has been one of the most positive and rewarding endeavors I have ever taken on.  I attribute this to many things.  First, my coach, Asia Mendoza.  I had to go through several coaches before I landed my current coach.  She has been nothing but encouraging and aspiring.  It makes a world of difference when you truly feel like your coach believes in you.  She reads my emails each and every week and not only does she respond but she responds with such compassion.  Second, my husband.  He has been prepping my food for the past 8 months.  Each and every week he sets time aside to prep me for diet success for the entire week.  He puts up with my whining about weight, body fat, hunger, not getting a good workout, he puts up with emotional highs, and emotional lows.  Some days I can barely put up with myself, so I commend him for being my voice of reassurance each and every day.  I am stronger than I have ever been physically because of him.  My upper body workouts have improved by leaps and bounds.  When I can't get those last few reps he is there to push me.  With his help I have lost body fat, built muscle, improved my overall conditioning, and have become a stronger, more confident person overall.



My will to succeed is stronger than ever.  Thankfully I am in a place that 'succeed' to me just means stepping on the stage.  I am confident weather I place first or last I will be okay.  My success lies in having the dedication and determination to say that I have followed this diet and workout routine to a T.  That I have gone above and beyond to try to conquer my inability to pose fluently.  I know I have given nothing short of my all.  Sweat, blood, and tears - once I step on stage - I have made it.

The next 6 weeks are going to go fast, and I have a few fun things planned.  Tomorrow (3/14) I am driving 3 hours each way to meet with IFBB-pro Danille Carr for a posing session.  I feel Danielle will help me concrete my routine and work on being more fluent.  Next Friday is my birthday, and while I will NOT be celebrating with birthday cake, I will be taking a little trip (with my own food packed).  My husband and I are going to watch the Baltimore Gladiator.  This show will be an awesome experience for me.  It will give me a feel for how everything flows.  Last, and what I am looking forward to the most is on April 4th, my husband and I are flying to Daytona Beach for a weekend.  On Friday the 4th I am meeting with my coach.  We are going to put the finishing touches on my posing.  At that point I will be 3 weeks out.  I will have lots of time to practice my posing and be totally ready for show day!  The rest of the weekend will be for hubby and I to kick back and relax on the beach!!