15 Weeks Out

First and foremost i have gotten yet another new coach.  This makes 4 coaches in 5 months.  I really hope I'm stuck with the new one now!  My old coach is taking over 'bigger' things so a bunch of us were shuffled to a different bikini coach.  I actually think this change is going to be very good for me.  I have already met the coach I was assigned to at camp, and I really liked her initial feedback on my first progress report.

I explained in my report to her that I was getting very frustrated with my lower body.  I don't feel like my glutes/ hams are getting anywhere.  She reminded me that I need to keep my movements very quick.  This week I have focused on lowering my weights a little bit and knocking out the sets a little faster.  A workout shouldn't take more than an hour and it was taking me almost an hour and a half nightly.

Next Thursday my husband and I are going to Jamaica until Monday.  Since I am still 15 weeks out from my first show I fully intend to 'live it up' while we are there.  It will give my body a break, it will give my mind a break and when i get back it will be full on prep time!  Right now, at this point, I can't wait to eat, drink, and be merry, but I am almost certain after day 1 of 'not eating to plan' I will feel like a gigantic balloon!

Lately my mind has been so busy.  Analyzing a day inside my head makes me realize why I am so exhausted in the evening!  I think about my goals.  I think about my upcoming competitions - if I choose the right ones, if I'll look good enough, if I'll pose good enough, if I even have any business being there.  How I will react if I do poorly, how I will react if I do well.  What does the body of my dreams actually look like, why do I have so much trouble realizing how far I have come.  This goes on THE ENTIRE DAY!  It seems everything I do I do with my goals in mind.  From the time I hear that alarm in the morning until the time I crawl in bed at night my mind is processing my goals.

This is important to me and my personal goals because I know fitness is not an isolated journey.  I want the results. I want to be the best me possible.  That means living fit 24 hours per day / 7 days per week.  That means I must get enough rest to train intensely.  That means I must fuel my body with the proper food and portions at the proper times.  That means I must get at least a gallon of water in every day.  If I miss any of these components I know my results are going to be compromised.

My entire focus right now is getting on stage.  Getting my make up in order, getting my hair in order, ordering my suit, walking around in my heels, making sure my meals are prepped, making sure my alarm wakes me up at 5 am to get my cardio in, making sure my husband is around each and every night to push me intensely thought my workouts.  It's non-stop.  I'm not complaining; I love it.  I can visualize my goals each and every day.  I like how I feel.  It is a reminder that the hard work and sacrifice is worth it.  Don't get me wrong, some days I feel completely discouraged, unmotivated, and like quitting.  At those times I lean on my husband.  I try to take a mental break, or I go to social media for motivation.  I know I have made huge improvements and I know in these next 15 weeks I will continue the journey to be the best me yet as long as I stay consistent and disciplined, even when I feel like I'm at a standstill.