Yesterday I was asked by my youngest son how long I am going to 'do this'. My oldest son chimed in and answered it depends 'why she is doing this'. I didn't struggle for a moment to answer the 'why'. I have been in some sort of athletic sport all of my life. I am naturally competitive, very driven, and tend to be a bit of a perfectionist (in all aspects; not just sports). When I set my sights on something I want I don't quit until I succeed. All of these things joined forces led me to wanting to compete. As I explained this to my kids it was like they already knew the answer before they asked. I wanted to embrace the moment that they both said that they thought what I was doing and what I have already accomplished is great.
I am still learning that each week there are new hurdles to overcome. The biggest hurdle in this new phase, the cutting phase, is food (or lack of). I have been so hungry. The mental strength necessary to overcome the constant state of hunger is very taxing. It's like a 24 hour feat each and every day. It is very consuming. As soon as I eat my meal I am looking at the clock to see how long until the next one. I know I am eating solely for the purpose of functioning and not for any kind of pleasure. It is fuel so I can complete my workouts with intensity. This process I am going through to get ready to compete is really a pretty amazing experience. It can break you, but it can also make you. The hard work and the sacrifices certainly show in the body that you create. Knowing that I have the dedication, perseverance, will, determination, work ethic, and ambition just to step on stage makes me feel like I have won the competition with myself.
I still want my body to come a long way. Not in terms of weight, but in terms of shape. I am working so hard to try to round out my booty and my shoulders. I need to lose more body fat on my upper arms and my thighs also. I am excited to see where the next few weeks will take me!
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